2013!

Really, time flies so fast. Finally was able to update my blog. Been ages since the last time i posted something in here. I don't know how would i start this one. A lot of things happened to me. I passed NLE, had heartbreak but eventually learned to love again. Yes, in just a year. I decided to make this our blog. Changed pictures, background and everything just to make it a couple blog. hehe! I promise to update this blog as often as WE can. =) Since we're both heavy eaters, expect variety of foods from random restaurants. We usually hang out on thursdays and saturdays. Expect silly faces on the road. haha! and make room for some cheesy moments(forgive us, but we can't hide it) haahah! Non-hang-out days are my keep-your-blog-updated days. haha! Excited for a new blog post. Have so many things to catch up here. ",)

Bless this earth and its people.

i don't know what's wrong with people today. After reading some articles and watching T.V, i can't help but to cry(literally). My heart bleeds for my country and its people. How come someone take life without the fear of his own when he gets caught? I'm growing scared each day, thinking that this world is not safe for me-not even safe for anyone. You will just walk by and someone will just stab you and get your bag. The feeling of completely alive and feeling the air that surrounds you and just in a snap you'll be dead and placed 6ft under. I am afraid of everything that is happening today. Sometimes I ask God to protect us but i realized that God is trying His best to guide us but some people choose to be led by evil. I pity those families who are still fighting for justice after many years, showing the same amount of hope that they showed from the beginning. I am not blaming anyone for the crawl-like justice that is being served here in Phils. I am just wondering what if these people(authorities) keep their jobs pure and open for all and not just for rich men-maybe numerous handheld justice will be served. I lost this concern for our country before, when i heard different news about corruptions but every time i hear people who are suffering from illnesses due to financial constraints and those victims of crimes, i can't help but to share my opinion. Hoping for justice for all those victims and enlightenment for all those suspects.

Jesus forgives all of our sins and on that basis, we should forgive others as well.:)

Another realization. Open your heart and lend your ears everytime someone's trying to explain something, so you would better understand things that make you feel nega. I was so damn mad last night because i found out that he's lying to me again but after thinking for 100x i realized that it will just affect me and the baby so i free myself from wrath and try to forgive him again. But it doesnt mean that you're open for another devastating lies. I find fault with other people but find it hard within myself. I also do crazy stuffs that make other people uncomfortable and sometimes~mad.

If you forgive people for their little wrongdoings you will be rewarded. Give a little patience when listening to them. I know how hard it is to listen to a person who lied to you but it will be harder on your part if you continue to plant seeds of madness in your heart. Lets all grow up and set aside those childish way of thinking and be happy that inly simple sins are brought to us by our loved ones. Try to look in to other's condition and may be you will realize how lucky you are compared to them. Thank God it didnt happen to you.

FORGIVING PEOPLE WHO SINNED AGAINST YOU IS NOT THAT EASY. I sometimes feel the urge to hit those people physically until they scream for help. Honestly, im not that good at forgiving people most especiall when they did something that is intensely wrong against me. but after various realizations, i figured out that God forgave all of my sins irregardless of its intensity. And i want to prove to Him that i can also make my heart as soft as it can be for me to be able to forgive others. Last night, i was so 'not in the mood' for anything. I posted a lot about how i feel in my twitter account. It just happened that my bf doenst know how to listen and to obey me. We already went to a fight just because of his friends. well, i dont care who they are and what they're doing~what i care about is the truth and always the TRUTH. One of those friends of him posted something that i didnt like and it was the main reason why i got mad. but eventually calmed myself so i could avoid saying harsh words against that girl. I just hope she wont experience the same thing that i experienced from her. And if that day comes, she will know exactly why it happens to her. Let God teach them their lessons. God knows better than I do and revenge is not in my vocab anymore.:)

Happy Sunday!

(took this picture earlier this morning)

After having such a horrible night last night, now i was able to smile and thank God it's Sunday! initially planned to attend morning mass but failed to wake up so early so we decided to go to my doctor after having our breakfast at mcdonalds. Every sunday is marked to be a family day.:) will try to make california maki later with friends and if it's possible(due to their very busy sched in preparation for the upcoming NLE) we're going to play poker. I totally miss playing cards! i want to 'fastforward' july so there will be no more stressors! ahhaha^^,

since my doctor is not in her clinic yet, we decided to rent a PC near the hospital so we won't bother to wait for too long doing nothing. Posted blogs so I could free myself from looking at my watch every second. hahahah!:D another ordinary day except for the fact that i forgive easily today. Yes, i did-for the first time. Wrinkles will invade my face if i wont smile. :) A smile can add up your life for about 2 to 3 years so i guess i have to do it more often.:) to release endorphins(i dont know how to spell it right) ahahah^^ im not that good at spelling~sorry.:~)

Hospital(home of the hopeless)

Goodmorning thursday! I am about to go tothe hospital in a while. Will witness different kinds of heartbreaking stories(about patient who cant get themselves out due to six digits hospital bills, a family who is crying in one corner bec they lost their loved one, a patient with multiple wounds due to vehicular accidents, a man who is fighting for his life secondary to cancer, a woman who is in labor, a child who accidentally ate poisoned food, an old man who cant stand numerous injections) those typical things that we used to see in a hospital. I am a nurse and to tell you honestly, i took this course bec i want to earn dollars but seeing my fellow men suffering from this kind of situations everyday, i feel so guilty. Why would i serve those white men first? Reality bites. No matter how hard i think about my country, my personal needs should also be prioritized. My family needs me(including my financialsupport). In the end, i have to make a choice and i need courage to choose. I always tell myself that no matter where i go, i will still end up with one thing and one realization: that the place where i will spend my life is the place where the hopeless people stay~hospital. And wheter it be on the united states or here in the philippines, the patients are the same~having severe cases and screaming silently for help. As time passes by, their presence make my heart grow stronger. I cant promise them that i can save them from their burdens but i promise to give my best to give them the most comfortable bed, the most gentle care and the highest form of prayers. So in the end, i can say that i am not just a highest paid nurse but also a skilled and determined nurse.

Fear vs. Excitement

counting days....june is about to end. I'm certain that no matter how challenging july would be, there will always be familiar faces that will help me. I don't know how it feels like to be in an operating room(well, i know how it feels like be there as a circulating or surgical nurse but not as the patient). yes, im afraid. seriously, i dont have the courage to imagine myself lying in an O.R table. The fear that im feeling doubles everytime i think about DELIVERY ROOM wherein i will go through each stages of labor with so much pain. I wouldn't want to spend 6 hours or more with presence of pain. I am not used to it and this will be my first time to give birth. By all means, i wouldnt want to get hurt. On the other hand, giving birth is one of the precious things you'll experience and seeing your baby will bring you comfort after the long hours of enduring pain. I wonder how it feels like to hold a tiny hands and toes.:) it must be something that is very new to me since i was always the baby girl. I don't know how can I be prepared enough for the upcoming delivery, whatever it takes, i know God is always with me.:) Goodluck to me and to my family as we move forward in another chapter of our lives(having a little boy in our house would be fun and challenging).^^,