Hospital(home of the hopeless)

Goodmorning thursday! I am about to go tothe hospital in a while. Will witness different kinds of heartbreaking stories(about patient who cant get themselves out due to six digits hospital bills, a family who is crying in one corner bec they lost their loved one, a patient with multiple wounds due to vehicular accidents, a man who is fighting for his life secondary to cancer, a woman who is in labor, a child who accidentally ate poisoned food, an old man who cant stand numerous injections) those typical things that we used to see in a hospital. I am a nurse and to tell you honestly, i took this course bec i want to earn dollars but seeing my fellow men suffering from this kind of situations everyday, i feel so guilty. Why would i serve those white men first? Reality bites. No matter how hard i think about my country, my personal needs should also be prioritized. My family needs me(including my financialsupport). In the end, i have to make a choice and i need courage to choose. I always tell myself that no matter where i go, i will still end up with one thing and one realization: that the place where i will spend my life is the place where the hopeless people stay~hospital. And wheter it be on the united states or here in the philippines, the patients are the same~having severe cases and screaming silently for help. As time passes by, their presence make my heart grow stronger. I cant promise them that i can save them from their burdens but i promise to give my best to give them the most comfortable bed, the most gentle care and the highest form of prayers. So in the end, i can say that i am not just a highest paid nurse but also a skilled and determined nurse.

Fear vs. Excitement

counting days....june is about to end. I'm certain that no matter how challenging july would be, there will always be familiar faces that will help me. I don't know how it feels like to be in an operating room(well, i know how it feels like be there as a circulating or surgical nurse but not as the patient). yes, im afraid. seriously, i dont have the courage to imagine myself lying in an O.R table. The fear that im feeling doubles everytime i think about DELIVERY ROOM wherein i will go through each stages of labor with so much pain. I wouldn't want to spend 6 hours or more with presence of pain. I am not used to it and this will be my first time to give birth. By all means, i wouldnt want to get hurt. On the other hand, giving birth is one of the precious things you'll experience and seeing your baby will bring you comfort after the long hours of enduring pain. I wonder how it feels like to hold a tiny hands and toes.:) it must be something that is very new to me since i was always the baby girl. I don't know how can I be prepared enough for the upcoming delivery, whatever it takes, i know God is always with me.:) Goodluck to me and to my family as we move forward in another chapter of our lives(having a little boy in our house would be fun and challenging).^^,